Most conversations stop here. Yours don't have to.

Hi {{ person.first_name|default:'there' }},

You're someone who wants conversations that actually go somewhere. Not the “how was your day / fine / yours?” loop. The ones where you learn something new about someone you thought you already knew.

Here's something that might explain why that's harder than it should be.

In the 1990s, psychologist Arthur Aron at Stony Brook University ran a study on intimacy and self-disclosure. His research, now widely known as the “36 Questions,” revealed a structured progression of conversation that moves people through increasing levels of vulnerability and connection. The underlying insight: most couples spend the majority of their conversations at the two lowest levels of disclosure, without ever knowing there are levels at all.

Here's roughly how it breaks down:

Levels 1 and 2: most couples are already here. The work starts at Level 3.

Aron's research showed that couples who regularly reach levels 4 and 5 report significantly higher relationship satisfaction, not because they're more compatible, but because they actually know each other at the level where the real person lives.

The Intimacy Deck is designed to move you through these levels naturally. Not by forcing depth, but by asking questions calibrated for where you are and where you're genuinely ready to go.

Once the deck becomes a regular ritual, some couples find they want to keep going. Here's what the collection offers:

✓ Levels 1–2 — already here Level 3 — Opinions and curiosity Intimacy Deck zone. This is your starting point. Date Deck 50 prompts across 5 depth categories. Starts a conversation and goes somewhere with it. Relationship Deck Prompts for shared values, goals, and what you're building together. Level 4 — Feelings and vulnerability Deeper Talk Deck For the conversations you've been circling without landing on. Intimacy After Dark 150 cards that bring the same depth to your physical connection. Level 5 — Core values and lasting change Relationship Journals His-and-hers guided journals for tracking what's genuinely changing. 13 weeks. Partner Appreciation Notes A meaningful appreciation exercise that carries depth into ordinary moments. Ready for the conversation to get off the couch? → It's a Date

You don't need to go deeper than you want to. But if you've been feeling like there's a ceiling on your conversations, there's a reason, and there's a way past it.

With warmth,
The BestSelf Team

P.S. If you followed along with the Untold Couples series, this is where those conversations go next. Pick one and start tonight.

200,000+ couples. Every product built for going deeper.